Humor

Sometimes, I use big words
I don’t' fully understand,
in an effort to sound more photosynthesis!

I feel very curmedgeon about this.
It makes me want to
ombudsman really badly!!

Humor

Saying I have a drinking problem

is like saying

Bruce Lee has a Kungfu problem!!

Humor

One simple Math rule:

If it seems easy,

you’re doing it wrong!!

Humor

Never put off till tomorrow

what you can do

the day after tomorrow!!

- Mark Twain -

Humor

I was on a flight the other day
when the air hostess came up to me and said,

"Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?"

I said, "What are the options?"

She said, "Yes and No."

Humor

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me
because apparently I ruined her birthday.

I’m not sure how I did that,

I didn’t even know it was her birthday!!